I am a complete Control Freak. I fear the unknown. I talk too much. I wear my heart on my sleeve for everyone to see. I am obsessive compulsive. I like to know everything that is going on with not just me but everyone else. I react before I pray. I look to find joy in people not my Father. I am overweight. I don't fit the mold of the perfect looking woman. I am a emotional wreck. I am very blunt. I struggle with being a wife and mother. I am selfish. I am a Sinner.

Those are just a few of the things that come to mind when I look at myself honestly. These things Satan wears himself out trying to use as a weapon of mass destruction in my life.

You are strong. You are beautiful in every single way. You have a gift for being able to speak openly to others. You are an encouragement to others. You are a growing mother and wife. You are an excellent student. You are a one of a kind daughter. You are a gift. You are my child that I created specifically for My Will. You are a tool that I will use to build up my kingdom in Heaven. YOU are my Beloved.

This is the truth that our Father speaks to us, ALL OF US. Isn't that crazy??? I can't imagine feeling this way about such a mess of a person. But because of this realization I am determined to not let my failures define who I AM. It is important that you take your decisions you make and whether it be the right one or the wrong one choose to learn and grow from them. For a very long time I chose to submit to being the 'victim' the 'failure' the 'disappointment'. Where did that life get me? Well honestly, it got me in a ton of trouble and in the middle of a deep hole that I couldn't even see out of anymore.

Where are you at? Even if you don't believe in our Creator how do you choose to live your life? Do you live in a constant world of pain? Do you always look at your glass as 'half empty'? Do you believe all the lies that you are too imperfect to accomplish anything? Speaking death about who you want to believe you are is just as toxic for a nonbeliever as it is for a believer... if not worse really, being they have no one to help them up that is trully perfectly reliable.

Is there someone that you know that needs words of life spoken to them instead of you judgmental words that you have justified as being constructive truth? As I think about all of this I can't help but think of my favorite scriptures from Romans 8 once again. It says in verses 38-39 "And I am convinced that NOTHING can ever SEPARATE us from God's love. Neither DEATH nor LIFE, neither ANGELS nor DEMONS, neither our FEARS for today nor our WORRIES about tomorrow--not even the powers of HELL can separate us from God's LOVE. NO power in the sky above or in the earth below--indeed, NOTHING in ALL CREATION will ever be able to separate us from the LOVE of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." Not once in this wonderful promise does it say "perfect Christians that abide by what YOU think is perfect are the only ones that are included in this" it says YOU. God didn't just breath life into all of us for no flippin reason at all! We all have some PURPOSE and that is what makes your life so IMPORTANT.

Spread this promise of life and love. Share His Grace and Mercy that He has endlessly showed all of us broken followers. We are to love EVERYONE like He has and loves us still.

I am a Disciple. I am the daughter of a King that will never leave my side even in all the worst days of my life. I am a sinner but through Him those sins are forgiven. I am FREE.

Sticks and Stones

Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but WORDS will NEVER hurt me.

Why did I ever believe that silly little tune that my wise mother told me? Words more times than not hurt incredibly bad. Yes, sometimes I came out stronger, but many times I felt weak and broken.

I am sitting here tonight looking at our lesson for tomorrow night's MWG meeting. We are continuing on with our book we started back in September "Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours" but we are also going to go through this group study about Gossip. Why is it that we (women) have such a problem with drama? I have been asking myself this question for years, but this is the first time in a long time that I am really digging into the subject. I notice that when Aaron comes home from a long day of work he is never really talking about how he got hurt by something someone has said. And come to think of it, I can't remember any of my guy friends or dad or stepdad or any other male figure really stuggling with gossip surrounding them. How I wish it were like that for women. Now don't misunderstand me when I say we have problems with drama/gossip. I am not trying to point fingers. But seriously gals, let's admit it. You may not be involved in a serious circle of drama, but I bet you can recall a time recently when someone elses words stung you. It could be something very very little. The drama I am describing here is the emotions we feel flowing through our own body when we become that victim of thoughtless speech.

We as Women of Faith must be careful to watch what we say ALL THE TIME. We are supposed to speak with encouragement in all things we say. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs." Ephesians 4:29

I just read in the study this statement that convicted my own tongue. It reads: YOUR WORDS REVEAL THE CONDITIONS OF YOUR HEART. I am sitting here reading this lesson and thinking to myself,"what business do I have teaching this? Do my words show encouragement to others? What does my attitude reflect?" My answers are not coming as quickly as the questions did. Let this be a reminder that we all have flaws, but it's whether or not you are willing to correct them that makes who you are.

I am going to end this with a simple request to all of you out there (even the men, because you all do have drama/gossip issues too, you just aren't as filled with emotions as us crazy girls...lol): Guard your mouth. Think about what you say before you actually say it. If there is no truth to your words then do NOT say them at all. If there is truth to your words, ask God to show you how He wants those words spoken. Words can shatter a soul in an instant and many are not strong enough to heal the wounds that are caused by the carelessness. Speak Words of Life and Love. Don't be the negative seed. Lift others up with your words.

And for those of you fighting that battle surrounding this subject:

It is never easy knowing that lies are out there, or that someone may be looking at you thinking something that you know is absolutely not true. Pray for the guidance in you reaction to this hurt. Sometimes doing nothing is doing everything. Remember, your words are just as capable to hurt or to heal. Be the healer in this battle.

Grace. This word is my own personal drive. Knowing that something so amazing has set me completely free keeps me going everyday.

Scripture says:

'I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love which Christ Jesus our Lord shows us. We can't be separated by death or life, by angels or rulers, by anything in the present or anything in the future, by forces or powers in the world above or in the world below, or by anything else in creation' Romans 8:38-39 GWT

With all that said, I also believe that God shows us Grace when we are completely undeserving. When we are the ugliest of the ugly. He loves us through thick and through thin. So if God shows us this trully unconditional love shouldn't we be also showing this to others as well? This may be the hardest thing that I have had to learn to do. For those of you who have grown up with me, I am sure it shocks you to hear "Miss Drama Queen" who was always 'hatin' on someone has turned such an extreme leaf over. Well to be completely honest there has been too much hurt in my life to keep living in it and not getting anywhere from that negativity.

You know even recently those who follow me on the good ole addiction they call Facebook, I am sure you have felt some of the weight that has been carried on my shoulders the last year. This last couple months have been overwhelming with all the hurt that has been inflicted by others. People will always let you down if your expectations of them are too high. They are human too and only God himself can trully never fail you. I am constently expecting too much of others, especially ones I call friend. I am one of those girls that says it like it is and will never lie to you. I lied about seriously everything growing up, so I feel as though I am making up for it now. haha... I am also not someone who lives in constent fear of doing something to make God 'mad' at me like I was taught in some different church environments growing up.

Grace has shown me a lot the last 3 years, but mainly in the last year is what has changed me most. I strive to be a reflection of His grace not my own. I can only take what his handed out to me and react the way He wants me to. Love is difficult (I think my parents tried to tell me that back in the day... but maybe they were just trying to keep me away from the boys lol). Love is worth it though. Grace is worth it. The saying my mom used to say to me comes to mind,"Treat others like you want to be treated."

Today I challenge you all to look at the offenses in your life whether or not it be from a person or from somewhere else and meditate on how God wants you to heal from them. Don't fall off this journey of Grace by stooping to the world's reactions and hurt the people that have hurt you.

The beginning of my journey with "blogging"

This picture says it all. This journey I call my life has been nothing short of 'eventful'. Bumps, bruises, tears, laughter, yelling, more laughing, fights, making up, and so on and so on and so on. All of it has been worth every second though.

So hello world, if you read my profile then you know my name is Aimee and I am starting my first 'real' blog. What I will talk about is going to be the interesting thing being at the moment I have no clue what to type now! I have titled this blog (i'm not sure if it is always going to be the same title or not, bare with me/i am learning more every second) 'daily battles leave me fulfilled'. It's funny because I created this profile back in July this last year and never had the patience to really keep it going. I read the title now and I can remember the reasoning then and I am glad that I chose it because I think it will serve as an amazing reminder of how I should choose to look at the that day when it's over.

Well, let's get started. There are many different areas in my life that could be talked about, but today has been an exhausting one. The fact that this blogging thing was the hardest thing ever for me to set up because my dang page kept shutting off and I had to retype my profile 3 times (sorry but the 1st one was the best, yall are getting a lame 3rd version of me) was just the start to this long day. My sister in law is at this very moment SUPPOSED to be packing because she is moving all the way to Australia tomorrow to go to college at the Hillsong United College there. As of right now though she is currently getting 'guilt trips' from all directions (hahaha) for not talking to all of us before she leaves. We love her dearly and it's gonna be crazy not getting to talk to her on the phone or getting to see her this summer! The delays on Skype are not nearly as fulfilling as the real deal (like that audge? we just hung up with eachother). On top of that emotional stuff, I have been chasing little crazy girls all over the place all day and they still are in their beds squirming at this very moment. Oh the joys of being 'mama' gotta love it! :)

I am currently one of the leaders of a ministry called Mothers With Grace with one of my best friends Jessica. She has been a leader for the 3 years it has been around and I am just on year 2. The craziness that goes in to constructing one meeting has been hard to get used to, but I think we have learned it pretty well. We have learned so much from eachother and the mamas that come and there are days when you just feel like you want to walk away because it's so hard to be a 'leader'. It's funny though, because everytime we get to that point God has intervened and showed us just exactly why we are still there. It has been nothing short of amazing.

Being a co-leader is just one thing in my life I have to focus on daily on top of wife and mom. Another huge thing that has changed in my life the last year is my health. March of last year I noticed a hard bump on my leg that hurt like a small bruise. Then a month later another one popped up. Then came another, until there were in between 18-21 depending on the day. The were these painful benign tumors that no one could explain why I was getting them. We tried seeing a doctor here, but when my only option was stripping my veins of all of them we went the homeopathic route. July I had to start a long deep detoxing diet. Boy, I had no clue how hard that would be or how long it would take or how sick I was about to find out I really was. I detoxed till the end of December and have been tumor free since August! Now I am trying to continue that same diet minus the detox pills with herbal supplements added and I am feeling great. Do I cheat on my diet??? Um. Yes. But that's another blog.

Tomorrow will be Day 2 of the new blogging thing. What will it bring us? I have no clue, hopefully something will come to me. I am going to go volunteer up at the church for childcare in the morning, because apparently I can not get enough of my own 3 kids that I am going to take on even more! hahaha... So off to bed because 7 am comes early with rushing Karyss onto the bus and feeding all these lil mouths. Goodnight to all and I will talk to you all soon and thanks for reading!